Chronicle of an avorted relationship

May 17th
Female – How was your holidays?
Male – It was good.
M- I missed you as I said.
F- I don’t believe it. You are way too much Lebanese!
M- I don’t believe! What about you? I mean shtaalile?
F – You are lucky I don’t know how to do conjugation in Arabic and the only way I know is Shtatilak. Maybe with “ma” before.
M- So you didn’t
F – So am I improving in Arabic? I know the negative form?
F- I’m kidding.
M – What are you doing tonight?
M- I wanted to see you.
M- So ??
F – So what?
M – Do you want your sweets tomorrow? Or I will keep it with me until I meet you outside of work? I prefer the second option.
F – And we have time for that, as Lebanese sweets don’t get rotten fast.

May 22th
M – I would love to see you while you swim.
F – So you have to change your job and apply for a lifeguard position in my building. But I’m not sure with that salary you can keep driving the X5.
M- I’m sure there is other way instead of working as a lifeguard and loosing the X5.
M- The way is I have to visit you there.

Maya 25th
M- I miss you.
F- Ahhahaha you are fucking way too Lebanese.
M- So
F- So what else?
M- Else is that I like you and wondering why I was blind before.
F – Come on! Should I write a third time you are fucking way too Lebanese?!
M – You can give a kiss better than all of that.
F- Hehehehehe! You are fucking way too….
M- I’m just fucking like you.
M – I wanted to chat face to face.
F- If you can be there at 2.20 am max and leave at 4 am max, and accept a bad coffee cause I’m running out of filters, so yalla come.
M- Yalla I’m coming. Will be there at 2.40.
F – Lalalala. You are Lebanese so if you say 2.40 you’ll be here at 4!

Mat 27th
M- I said I don’t want to say that but I miss you.

May 31st
M- I called you on your extension. Just to say I miss you.

June 4th
M- Don’t you want your sweets?
F- Aren’t they rotten?
M- I don’t think, it was in the freezer.
F- You don’t think or you are sure? Cause maybe you want to poison me!!!
M – I’m sure. I miss you. I can’t poison you.
F- No you could cause if you really miss me you can poison me in order to kidnap me!
M- I would love to kidnap you without “poison”.
F- Therefore thanks for not being a freak.

June 12th
M- Hey I miss you so much now.
F- Only now? It took you almost a week!
M- It’s increasing day after day.

June 22nd
F- Hey, I was thinking… I should say good night, good morning or something
M- Hey, it’s 3.30 here so all would be ok, night or morning. Good that you remembered me.
M- When are you coming back?
F- On Sunday.
M- Then I see you soon.

August 6th
F- By the way I have a question.
M- Yes?
F- Is not you right, who sent me the flowers?
M- I didn’t. I wish I could be the one who sent you the flowers. Why are you asking me about that?
F- Cause I am wondering who sent me the flowers. And I really don’t have a clue…
M- You like flowers?
F – I appreciated the gesture.

January 17th
F – Do you know what you gonna have? A boy or a girl?
M- Not yet.
M- I don’t understand why you’re asking boy or girl.
F- No reason. But I thought you’ll be happier with a son.

Cette entrée a été publiée le 3 juillet 2014 à 1301 34. Elle est classée dans Encyclopédie masculine, Flair et taguée , , . Bookmarquez ce permalien. Suivre les commentaires de cet article par RSS.

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